Recently, I was perusing Facebook in a moment of boredom waiting for my carryout order to be ready at a local restaurant. I came across a story detailing a body-shaming incident in London of a man caught on camera dancing. A woman not only photographed him dancing but also publicly mocked him regarding his weight via Twitter.
It took me back to that day in July of 2013. The horrible moment when my whole life became a public punch line. A joke. I was made a fool of and my life was splashed all across Twitter. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse…it did. News publications picked up the story and ran with it. It hit locally and quickly. The next day it hit Yahoo Finance, Business Insider and The Daily UK Mail. My life was now a joke internationally.
The tweets went on non-stop for about a 36-hour period. People were re-tweeting, posting screen shots, posting to Facebook. Social media users that had never met me nor knew anything about me were taking another person’s words for truth. Disgusting accusations were believed simply because of the platform. A large one…social media.
Luckily for the man in London, Twitter users quickly defended him. Celebrities came to his aid and offered support. He’s going to have his very own dance party with celebrities. In my case, I was called a home-wrecker, a whore and threatened with violence by other Twitter users. I was scared to leave my house. In fact, I was scared to be in my house. I was scared all the time. Let’s face it. There are crazy people in this world. I wasn’t sure someone wouldn’t try to hurt me all because one woman used her platform in the wrong way.
Social media can be a great thing…when used correctly. In fact, it’s helped me in recent months tremendously. It can also be extremely detrimental. Why on Earth would anyone air their grievances with another person on social media? I see it every day. There is the passive aggressive Facebook post. “Some people” need to stop doing this or that or the other. There is the angry, bad customer service experience post. “Thanks, Company X for ruining my day because you did something stupid”. (I use company X because I refuse to name anyone publicly.) There is the photo evidence Facebook post. “Look at how this jackass parked.” Followed by a pic of the vehicle along with its license plate number.
It’s constant. It’s forced down our throat at every turn. I got to thinking…what did we do with our grievances before social media? Did we tell a friend straight up how we felt about a situation? Did we confront a person face to face if we didn’t like how they parked? Did we complain to a manager about a bad customer service experience? When did we become so passive aggressive with our interactions?
I believe the reason social media shaming has become so prevalent in today’s society is because its so much easier to be a badass sitting behind a computer versus a face-to-face confrontation. Nastier words can be spit out if a person isn’t staring you in the eye. In a world ruled by instant gratification the damage is done as soon as you click post.
What are we teaching our children? Recently, a friend relayed a story to me about her son learning how to Google his parents’ names in school that day. His teacher had taught them about Google and each child looked up his/her parents. Immediately, my mind went to that place…what if one day my child Google’s my name and finds all these horrible things?
It’s easy to use social media to bash each other. Admittedly, I’ve probably posted things I shouldn’t. I would have plenty of ammunition to use against the person who socially shamed me but I won’t. I refuse. I have no ill words to say about her. In fact, I forgive her for what she did. My life is too short for me harbor ill will or hate. I’m sure in her eyes what she was doing was validated in some way. People have told me I need to “put this all behind me”, to “move on with my life” and so on. I agree. I do need to put the negative aspect of this situation behind me and move on with life, however, I think my story is part of a bigger picture. I refuse to leave that part of it behind.
I would like to start a #stopsocialshaming campaign. I would like to ask all of you reading this to sign our pledge to #stopsocialshaming.
http://www.dish-y.com/stopsocialshaming/
Let’s start using our voices for good. Let’s be a positive change in the eyes, ears and minds of other social media users. Let’s make this our dance party.
