2016 Thanksgiving Menu

I’ve been asked several times to share my Thanksgiving menus. Each year I like to choose a theme. Last year I went with a Southern Thanksgiving. This menu is filled with all the flavors that give southern food its unique flair. I’ve included links to the recipes, tips & tricks and photos from our meal last year.

Deep Fried Turkey

I never said this menu was going to be healthy but it’s Thanksgiving. It’s the one day a year it’s socially acceptable to be gluttonous. Deep frying a turkey opens up highly coveted oven space. It also helps the meat stay moist and the skin to stay crispy.

Cajun Ham with Bourbon Glaze

This recipe makes use of a rotisserie attachment on your grill. It once agains free up space in the oven. You can always make this in the oven or in a pan on the grill if you don’t have a rotisserie. I also insert cloves into my ham before cooking.

Make Ahead Turkey Gravy

One negative to deep frying your turkey is you don’t get all those yummy drippings needed to make gravy. I found this make ahead turkey gravy. It saved time on the big day by being prepped in advance.

Stuffin Muffins

At the last minute last year I decided to not make these as muffins. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to remove them from the muffin pans without losing most of the stuffing. I followed the same recipe and just baked it in a 9×13 dish.

Pimento Mac and Cheese

This macaroni and cheese uses all the flavors from a classic southern staple–pimento cheese. Again, not the healthiest recipe but for one day a year I don’t feel bad about it and neither should you!

Spinach Madeline

My favorite side dish at steakhouses is always creamed spinach. It’s a go-to for me. I was doing some research on southern side dishes and found this recipe. It does use Velveeta which I know a lot of people don’t like. However, it melts beautifully.

Black-Eyed Peas with Bacon and Pork

I love this side dish because you can utilize your slow cooker to make it. Who doesn’t love a recipe that calls for pork shoulder and bacon? No one. That’s who.

Sweet Potatoes

I don’t have a recipe for last year’s sweet potatoes. This one was brought by a family member. A big tip from me is to always utilize your guests to help cut down on your work. Thanks to the Kyle family for making and bringing these last year.

Green Bean Casserole

This is a Thanksgiving staple. Again, I utilized a family member to assist on this one. Thanks to the Driggers family for making and bringing this side dish last year.

Kicked Up Corn Maque Choux

This is by far my favorite Thanksgiving side dish! I had leftover andouille sausage from a crawfish boil we had earlier in the year. I added that and it made this dish! So good. This one will make the menu every year regardless of the theme!

Holiday Mashed Potatoes

I don’t have a recipe for this one either. This is something my mother-in-law makes each year that my husband loves. It’s almost like a mashed potato casserole. If I can get the recipe I will update the post!

Collard Greens

My husband’s best friend Justin loves to cook like I do. Every year he and his wife Nicole (my best friend!) join us for Thanksgiving. Justin is always so respectful of honoring my theme. He had a recipe for collard greens so I told him to do his thang! They were so good!

Biscuits with Apple Butter

My mom isn’t much of a cook. So, every year I have her bring the bread/rolls/biscuits. Last year my mom brought biscuits from Cracker Barrel. I didn’t make the apple butter. I purchased it from Williams-Sonoma. Again it’s best to take assistance or shortcuts where you can.

Orange Amaretto Cranberry Sauce

I know a lot of people don’t like cranberry sauce because it reminds them of the canned gelatinous junk. I didn’t cook this down into a sauce but instead made it into a relish. Go a little lighter on the amaretto liqueur if they are children at your meal.

Pumpkin Pie

This is yet another full fat flavorful recipe. Paula Deen doesn’t play when it comes to southern food. This pumpkin pie turned out great and will probably be a go to for my menus for years to come.

Maple Bourbon Pecan Pie

As a kid I can remember pecan pie giving my grandma fits. It can be really finicky. A lot of times it won’t set and firm up. I was a little nervous about making this recipe for the first time for Thanksgiving but it turned out beautifully.

Southern Style Caramel Cake

In my research I found caramel cake is a pretty popular southern staple. I can cook but baking isn’t for me. So, I found a lovely place in Broad Ripple that sells southern style caramel cake. It’s pricey but it was totally worth it for Thanksgiving.

Apple Cider Sangria

Some years if I’m feeling particularly ambitious I will make a signature drink. Sangria is usually very easy and most people enjoy it. This one brought together the fall flavors of apple cider and cinnamon and wine.

Travel Tips for Hassle-Free Vacations

I’m fortunate enough that I’ve been able to travel the US extensively. We have friends all across the country and love to go visit them. In all my travels I’ve learned a few things to make traveling a little more enjoyable and less stressful. Here are a few travel tips I’ve learned over the last few years.

Invest in a pair of noise canceling headphones. They’re totally worth the cost if you’re a nervous flyer. I analyze every little noise I hear on a plane thinking we could be in life-altering danger. These help block those noises out. Just be aware of the flight attendants and their announcements.

Pack snacks. This is important whether you have kids or not. We’ve all been running through the airport trying to make a connection as if we’re reenacting Home Alone. Sometimes you just don’t have time to stop to grab food. I always carry packets of almonds, peanut butter or almond butter and protein bars. They aren’t going to substitute for a full meal but they’re a lot healthier than those honey roasted peanuts or pretzels.

Pack an extra pair of clothes in your carryon. Just trust me on this one. Even the best laid plans can go haywire. When we were heading to Hawaii in Feb. our first flight out of Indy was cancelled due to the plane leaking oil. Yes, please get me off that plane. Our trip ended up becoming a 30-hour adventure. I was so glad to have shorts, a t-shirt, some deodorant and flip flops when they lost our luggage after the 30-hour ordeal.

Avoid drinking too much. Everyone is excited to go on vacation and wants to enjoy themselves. For a lot of people this includes having an alcoholic beverage. Flying dehydrates you. The air is very dry. Alcohol can add to your dehydration. Drink in moderation.

Take the water as they offer it. Again, flying dehydrates you. Even if you aren’t thirsty, take the water. Drink it when you’re ready. It helps to keep you hydrated but it also means you’ll be getting up using the restroom more frequently. Moving your legs helps prevent deep vein thrombosis or blood clots.

Download movies to your iPad. Netflix will now let you download movies directly to your device. Never rely on the airline to provide entertainment for you. Most of the time, they do offer in-flight movies or television along with Wifi but sometimes they fail. Having a movie or show downloaded to your device ensures you have something to pass the time.

Invest in a travel backpack. I LOVE mine. I pack magazines, books, extra clothes, some toiletries, my iPad, any medications I might need and sometimes a little extra liquor bottle or two. Shhhh.

If you’re considering booking first class, just go ahead and book it rather than waiting to see if there is an upgrade. A lot of the time it’s more expensive to upgrade immediately prior to your flight than it is just to book first class in advance. There is almost never an upgrade available at the last minute especially if you’re flying during peak travel times like holidays or spring break.

If you have a fear of flying, download the Soar app. It’s awesome. It was created by a former pilot. It talks about the different kinds of fear people experience from flying. It also includes a meter that allows you to see the amount of G-force being applied to the plane while you’re in turbulence. It also tells you what is an acceptable amount the plane can withstand. So you can see in real-time that while the turbulence you’re experiencing may be scary, it’s not dangerous.

Download all the major airlines apps. They give you up to the minute information regarding your flight. Warning. Some are better than others. They all allow you to download your boarding ticket directly to your device. Save some trees while also reducing the items you’ll need to find in a pinch.

If you decide you need to order a drink on the flight (I know. You’re thinking, ‘But, Renee you told us not to drink!’) Sometimes it’s necessary. It just is. Did you know you can order two little bottles at a time? You can and it’s not frowned upon! The flight attendants don’t mind because they won’t have to come back around.

Airplanes are super dry. If you’re brave enough to go without makeup (YOU GO, GIRL!), load up on an eye cream and moisturizer. You can even purchase re-hydrating spray. Don’t neglect your lips, either.

Wear comfortable clothes. This may seem like a no-brainer but it isn’t. Always wear shoes that you can quickly get from one side of an airport to the other while wearing. I love tall, flat boots. However, when running to make a connection I wouldn’t recommend them. I ended up with blisters the size of quarters on both my feet.

For long flights, invest in a neck pillow and eye mask. It’s almost impossible for me to sleep on a flight. Eye masks and neck pillows do help in blocking out some of the light and keeping your neck supported.

Always choose your seats in advance if you’re allowed to do so while booking. I love to do this because I hate getting stuck in a middle seat. My husband and myself are tall so I book us two aisle seats across from each other.

Say hello to the flights attendants and pilots as you board. They have a tough job and a little kindness goes a long way. Sometimes they’ll reward you with free drinks. Plus, it’s just good to be a nice person. I almost always say something kind to them if I see someone else being nasty. Just putting out a little good karma.

Most airlines have a section behind first class that costs a little more but gives you more leg room. I’ve booked us Delta Comfort seats before and they’re usually pretty awesome–free drinks, more leg room, and you’re seated near the front of the plane.

I hope these travel tips help with your smooth sailing. But most of all, I hope you enjoy your travels!

7 Things All Children of Single Parent Homes Have in Common

Growing up, I was child of a single parent home. My dad wasn’t around or even involved in any way. I don’t know the reasoning or thought process of him not being involved from one side or the other. I just know he wasn’t. And, honestly, lately I have decided that is enough for me. I’m a very introspective person and am constantly looking at things I do and trying to figure out why I do them. I’ve long since noticed these things in myself but recently noticed some other friends

They’re used to fending for themselves. As a child in a single parent home, most days I got myself off the bus, got home and hung out alone doing homework until my mom got home from work. There wasn’t always money for a baby-sitter or day care. I was very used to being on my own and handling my business. It’s so weird but now I enjoy other people NOT having to fend for themselves. I don’t want the people I care about or love to have to do everything on their own like I did as a kid.

They feel bad for putting more work on the one parent they do have. As a kid in a single parent home, you take on more adult responsibilities because you don’t want to add to your mom or dad’s stress. I have always wanted to please my mom because she was the only parent I had around growing up. In my eyes, if I could something that made her life easier (because she’s done a lot for me!) and not put so much stress on her, I would do it.

They’re subliminally trying to be a better person than the parent that wasn’t around. It’s always in the back of my head. I will never put anyone else (children or no children) in the situation I was in as a child. I always want to be a better person than the person that chose not to be a part of my life. I don’t want to make others feel the way I felt growing up. I have consistently made choices in my life to a better person than the parent that wasn’t around.

They need constant approval and praise. It’s a hard thing to love a person who came from a single parent home. When Austin and I first met, I was always trying to get his approval or praise. Probably to the point of annoyance. I constantly needed to be reinforced that he care about me or loved me. You’re seeking the praise you never got from the parent that isn’t there. It’s hard for the other person to understand that you’re only this way because you have a deep-rooted fear of abandonment.

They need to be in control. Oh, man. I am a CONTROL FREAK. If I can plan something vs. having someone else make decisions for me I will do it. I would rather be the person making my decisions. It boils down to this…as a child you didn’t have control over being a child in a single parent home. You didn’t have control over the other parent not being there. And it felt terrible. So, in your mind, you want to control everything you can so you don’t ever feel like a bystander in your own destiny.

They feel guilty. Guilt is the worst human emotion possible. I felt guilty all the time for my other parent not being there. It’s almost as if you think YOU’RE the reason the other parent chose to leave. Throughout the years, I have come to realize that was a choice made by a grown up that had zero to do with me. But, that didn’t mean I didn’t still feel guilty the parents wasn’t there. Feelings of guilt then cause you to go overboard in other ways.

They don’t know how to maintain romantic relationships. This one is especially tough. When you grow up in a single parent home, you don’t always grow up around a healthy, adult, romantic relationship. For a lot years, I searched for just anyone because it meant I had someone. As I moved through life, I realized just having someone is different than having someone of quality in my life. By the time, I met the right person…I did all the wrong things. I was jealous, clingy, untrusting. It’s taken a lot of years to move past those feelings and not make him pay for me not having a dad around as a kid.

These are just a few commonalities I have noticed in children of single parent homes. What have you noticed in yourself or others?

The Ultimate Guests’ Guide for Thanksgiving

Chances are if you’re not hosting Thanksgiving in your home, you’ll be attending a dinner at someone else’s house. It can be intimidating showing up to a Thanksgiving dinner with friends. Do I bring a dish? Do I know what my host’s hospitality agreement is and what that even means? Well, fear not, friends. Here is your ultimate guide to being the best guest at Thanksgiving dinner.

Always Ask Before Bringing a Dish or Dessert-I mentioned this in my previous post, but for hosts Thanksgiving is their Super Bowl. Chefs love to determine the menu well in advance. Some people will even have a theme. While it’s very nice to offer to bring something, always ask your host what you can bring. You don’t need two types of corn. If you’re asked to bring a specific item, bring that and nothing else. Most of the time, the items you’re bringing are an added bonus to the menu for the host.

Always Bring a Gift-If you’re not bringing a side dish, make sure to always bring some type of gift for the host. This is just simple manners, but sometimes easily overlooked. Wine always goes over well. In my house especially. Hey! Try to find out a little about your host before you decide on a gift. You might have to do some homework. Put those hours of Facebook stalking to good use.

Don’t Go Overboard-If you aren’t able to find any clues about your hosts likes and dislikes from your Facebook stalking, a mid-range bottle of wine is always good. Personally, I think an easy drinking wine like Pinot Noir suits most palates. This is one my favorites. Or, a small journal for the host to keep track of their Thanksgiving dinners is always a thoughtful gift.

Stay Out of The Kitchen-Unless you’re asked to do something in the kitchen or the host says it’s okay to hang out there, hang out somewhere else. There are a lot of moving parts to hosting dinner, and a lot of that occurs in the kitchen. For a cook, to have to work around people standing in front of their drawers or oven is just plain annoying.

Make Yourself Useful in Other Ways-Offer to get other guests their drinks. Play bartender. Or, offer to set the table. Jump on clearing the table. Wash dishes. Take out garbage. All of these little things are extremely helpful to a host. After dinner is served a host typically feels like they can relax. Let them enjoy that moment.

Don’t Get Too Drunk-No one likes Drunk Uncle. Well, we do, but you don’t want to be that guy. Keep your drinking in check until children are gone or the hosts have began letting their guard down. And for heaven’s sake, don’t drink all the hosts booze. At least bring something to offer and share.

Acknowledge the Host’s Hospitality Agreement-What I mean by this is as a guest it’s important to make some sort of verbal acknowledgment of the hosts rules. I love hearing a guest say ‘It’s your day, tell me how I can help. I’ll do whatever you need’. You are validating to the host you know how stressful hosting can be.

Bring a Dish that Doesn’t Require Much Work-Great! You’re bringing a side dish. Awesome. Thanks so much. Don’t bring something you will have to assemble in the host’s kitchen. If it’s a dish the host can pop in the oven, great. If it’s something that can go in the fridge, even better. A simple Caprese salad is always a great addition.

What for the Host to Offer a To Go Box-Don’t assume there will be enough food for you to take in your doggy bag. Remember how I said it’s the Super Bowl for chef-y types? Typically, they have an idea already brewing in their head for what to do with that leftover turkey, and it doesn’t involve you.

If you follow these simple rules for attending Thanksgiving feasts, you will always be considered a great guest!

7 Signs You’re in a Fantastic Place in Your Life

7 Signs You’re in a Fantastic Place in Your Life

A recent Today show segment mentioned that age 34 is the happiest time in a woman’s life. It was like a lighting bolt shocked me. I’m 34 right now. How does this year of my life compare to others? As I reflected on my life (the good and the bad) I realized this is the happiest I’ve ever been. But why? What’s changed? Here are a few things I’ve noticed have brought me to this fantastic place in my life.

You’ve given up on the need to please everyone all the time.

I am a people pleaser. I know this. I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to enjoy themselves in my home. Let’s just be honest. It’s not always possible to please everyone all the time. I’ve come to the realization if people aren’t having fun with you, in your home or with something you’ve created that’s their problem. Not yours.

When you start to truly trust your decision-making you don’t need as much validation from others. Just because someone disagrees with a decision you made doesn’t make you second-guess yourself.

You’ve finally figured out what qualities you’re looking for in a mate.

I have always been a hopeless romantic. Even as a child I wanted to find love. For a very long time I didn’t know what I wanted, needed or deserved in a life partner. As I’ve gotten older things I thought were a big deal are suddenly not so much. Or things I didn’t place much value on moved up higher in the rankings. Really important with this one-notice I said qualities you’re looking for in a mate. You don’t necessarily have to have found that to say…

“I’m okay being single because this person doesn’t have the qualities I’m looking for in a partner”.

Even if you’re single you know your own relationship standards and you won’t settle for less. Those standards guide you and serve as a compass.

Never settle for anything less than an extraordinary love.

Renee and Austin on their wedding day.

You’re comfortable spending time alone.

Growing up as an only child (this may confuse some of you as you’ve heard me speak about my sisters (another article for a different day) with a working, single mom I spent a lot of time alone. As a teenager and young adult I never wanted to spend time alone. I always wanted people around. In my 30’s I’ve come to relish my alone time.

I still love having people around and I love spending time with my husband but man, sometimes I like being able to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and watch my garbage television.

Another important part of this one that people struggle with is being able to go out and do things alone. Going out and eating dinner alone or having a glass of wine is not scary at all. It’s liberating! As it turns out, no one is staring at you and feeling sorry for you because you’re alone. If you’re worried about it take a look at the bar of any restaurant. There are always lots of people sitting down eating and drinking alone.

You’ve cut toxic people out of your life. And you’re OKAY with it.

This one is so hard. I had to make a tough decision last year. Either deal with someone who was abusive or cut them out. I was in the middle of a very bad public situation that was very stressful. I decided that I had to make a choice for me. That’s not selfish. That’s being protective of you! I cut off communication with said person. It was difficult but there comes a point in your life when you have to say enough is enough. Abusive people will always continue to abuse you until you stand up for yourself and say “I’m not taking this anymore”. The bigger part of this scenario is that you have to be okay with cutting someone off. It’s hard. I questioned myself a lot but at the end of the day realized I made the decision and I needed to own it.

You have figured out what makes you happy career-wise and have started doing it or have a plan to get there.

I’ve always known what I wanted to do as a career. Or at least a field. Somewhere along with the way I lost that direction. Perhaps taking a job just to have a job when the economy is bad is just something you can’t control. However, I was working jobs that I didn’t love.

I was miserable. When you’re miserable you take it out on other people. I was just accepting these less than stellar careers and then making others unhappy because I was unhappy. I tend to give up when things get too hard.

I became complacent with doing nothing to make myself happy.

I have always loved writing. I somehow lost that throughout the years. I always had one friend pushing me to write. Sometimes to the point of annoyance.

“Why aren’t you writing? It’s what you love and you’re good at it!” It finally just hit me. I need to make this happen. It’s not going to come to me without a little effort on my part. So I started contacting places that I thought might need writers and lo and behold here I am writing for Dish-y (well, that had already started) and for publication in Indianapolis. Michelle and I are even work to start a business.

If you aren’t happy with your career path sit down and figure out what you love to do. Then make a plan of how you can do that and make money. It might take a little time, effort and ingenuity but trust me it’s worth it in the end.

You realize there is no such thing as “perfect”.

As women we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be the perfect friend, sister, wife, mother, employee. It’s not realistic to think that we should all be size two (which I can tell you I don’t think I’ve ever been!). It’s not realistic to think that we should always wear makeup and have the perfect outfit for each event we attend. Sometimes you just have to let it go (you’re singing it in your head right now, aren’t you) and go out to the grocery store with no makeup.

Wear the flip flops because, lets be honest, heels hurt. Drink the glass of wine even though it’s not on your diet…maybe not the entire bottle which is a lesson I’m still teaching myself. Oh, hell. Throw the diet out the window and ENJOY LIFE. Yes, still make time to work out to be healthy not just out of vanity.

You’ve stopped letting your past be a crutch for your future.

This one is huge. HUGE. You like what I did there visually? In all seriousness, for a lot of years I used my past experiences in life to be a miserable person. I held grudges about the things that happened to me. I allowed myself to be reduced by them. I made myself a victim of myself.

See, people can do a lot of nasty things to you. How you choose manifest those things is all on you.

Yes, my dad wasn’t around growing up but I realized that wasn’t my husband’s fault. Guess whose fault that was? Ultimately, mine. Yes, there is blame to be put on my dad but me being nasty and unhappy was MY FAULT. I needed to realize the longer I held on to anger and hate the more it consumed me and took time away from my joy.

Let it go, let it go. You’re singing again, aren’t you? Go on and do it. This is not to say that I have it all figured our or that my life is perfect. These are just little lessons that I’ve learned that I hope I can pass on to others to possibly spare them some of the turmoil I’ve experienced over the years. Life is too short to be anything less than happy. Work hard to create your happiness and you will be rewarded.

Social Media Shaming

Recently, I was perusing Facebook in a moment of boredom waiting for my carryout order to be ready at a local restaurant. I came across a story detailing a body-shaming incident in London of a man caught on camera dancing. A woman not only photographed him dancing but also publicly mocked him regarding his weight via Twitter.

It took me back to that day in July of 2013. The horrible moment when my whole life became a public punch line. A joke. I was made a fool of and my life was splashed all across Twitter. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse…it did. News publications picked up the story and ran with it. It hit locally and quickly. The next day it hit Yahoo Finance, Business Insider and The Daily UK Mail. My life was now a joke internationally.

The tweets went on non-stop for about a 36-hour period. People were re-tweeting, posting screen shots, posting to Facebook. Social media users that had never met me nor knew anything about me were taking another person’s words for truth. Disgusting accusations were believed simply because of the platform. A large one…social media.

Luckily for the man in London, Twitter users quickly defended him. Celebrities came to his aid and offered support. He’s going to have his very own dance party with celebrities. In my case, I was called a home-wrecker, a whore and threatened with violence by other Twitter users. I was scared to leave my house. In fact, I was scared to be in my house. I was scared all the time. Let’s face it. There are crazy people in this world. I wasn’t sure someone wouldn’t try to hurt me all because one woman used her platform in the wrong way.

Social media can be a great thing…when used correctly. In fact, it’s helped me in recent months tremendously. It can also be extremely detrimental. Why on Earth would anyone air their grievances with another person on social media? I see it every day. There is the passive aggressive Facebook post. “Some people” need to stop doing this or that or the other. There is the angry, bad customer service experience post. “Thanks, Company X for ruining my day because you did something stupid”. (I use company X because I refuse to name anyone publicly.) There is the photo evidence Facebook post. “Look at how this jackass parked.” Followed by a pic of the vehicle along with its license plate number.

It’s constant. It’s forced down our throat at every turn. I got to thinking…what did we do with our grievances before social media? Did we tell a friend straight up how we felt about a situation? Did we confront a person face to face if we didn’t like how they parked? Did we complain to a manager about a bad customer service experience? When did we become so passive aggressive with our interactions?

I believe the reason social media shaming has become so prevalent in today’s society is because its so much easier to be a badass sitting behind a computer versus a face-to-face confrontation. Nastier words can be spit out if a person isn’t staring you in the eye. In a world ruled by instant gratification the damage is done as soon as you click post.

What are we teaching our children? Recently, a friend relayed a story to me about her son learning how to Google his parents’ names in school that day. His teacher had taught them about Google and each child looked up his/her parents. Immediately, my mind went to that place…what if one day my child Google’s my name and finds all these horrible things?

It’s easy to use social media to bash each other. Admittedly, I’ve probably posted things I shouldn’t. I would have plenty of ammunition to use against the person who socially shamed me but I won’t. I refuse. I have no ill words to say about her. In fact, I forgive her for what she did. My life is too short for me harbor ill will or hate. I’m sure in her eyes what she was doing was validated in some way. People have told me I need to “put this all behind me”, to “move on with my life” and so on. I agree. I do need to put the negative aspect of this situation behind me and move on with life, however, I think my story is part of a bigger picture. I refuse to leave that part of it behind.

I would like to start a #stopsocialshaming campaign. I would like to ask all of you reading this to sign our pledge to #stopsocialshaming.

http://www.dish-y.com/stopsocialshaming/

Let’s start using our voices for good. Let’s be a positive change in the eyes, ears and minds of other social media users. Let’s make this our dance party.

The Silver Lining for Renee Larr

Renee Larr, my co-editor at Dish-y.com, has been one of my best friends for more than half my lifetime. It was a little over a year ago that my dear friend suggested to me that we work together to start a blog. We share similar interests surrounding food, entertaining, and the like. We thought we could turn some of our experience into advice, inspiration, and encouragement for women going through life’s transitions like getting married and having babies.

Writing a blog struck us both as a refreshing idea, particularly since we were each facing some personal struggles and needed a positive and uplifting change in our lives at that time. Right before Renee suggested to me that we start a blog together, she had been unjustly dragged into an ordeal that would end up costing her a job, causing a lot of undue stress, and temporarily defacing her reputation.

→ Also Read: Renee Larr is Not Defined By Her Search Results

I’m not here to tell the gory details of what my friend has experienced over the last year. But I want to talk a little about the silver lining that has emerged as a result of the situation.

See, having the ability to come through a difficult situation and identify the silver lining can help a person to extract joy from life even in a time of intense pain or discomfort. That’s a quality that Renee and I share, and we are each stronger women today because of it.

The long and short of it is that Renee was accused of adultery by the wife of a high profile Indianapolis business man in 2013. This accusation surfaced a little over a year after Renee was newly married. Luckily her husband, Austin, is a smart and compassionate man, and their marriage has remained completely unscathed as a result of this ordeal. He has been there every step of the way to support her during the suffering she endured as the cyber attack unfolded and developed.

Austin, you are a good man. Thank you for taking care of our girl.

Renee has spent the last 16 months trying to get this tremendously ridiculous situation resolved. Finally just last week, the woman who calls herself VeeVee posted a public apology on her website, admitting that none of her terrible accusations and inappropriate comments were ever based in fact. Since that post will likely soon be removed from her site, I captured a screenshot showing the public apology for the viewing pleasure of any who may read this story. We’d hate for you to miss it.

This was an intensely painful and stressful situation for my dear friend, Renee Larr. She enjoyed none of it. So, how could anything positive come of it? Where the hell is the silver lining?

Well, that’s the thing about positivity. People who practice it manufacture joy even in the depths of their most shitty life situations.

Renee and I, in the midst of our suffering and in response to our personal struggles, created a blog that has become a very positive influence in our lives. Aside from the personal enjoyment, this blog could someday turn into a source of income for both of us—potentially replacing that job Renee lost. How’s that for a silver lining?

Padding the silver lining is a happy side effect that boosts our new blog’s performance. This whole ordeal has made “Renee Larr” our best-selling and most popular keyword! I’d almost like to shake the woman’s hand and thank her for the publicity that has driven a handsome handful of visitors to our site. Effortless site traffic, and I’m an SEO junkie. I love it.

Even though I know that when someone searches for Renee Larr and lands on our site, they are probably looking for the scandalous, made-up story. But I like to think that perhaps people are more intrigued by the story we tell on Dish-y.com. That’s because we spend our energy trying to help people enjoy their lives. We focus our time on helping promote the feel good factor. You’ll find anything but that if you pursue the lies. Which do you prefer?

Renee Larr and I created beauty during one of the darkest times in our lives. That in itself is the perfect silver lining for this situation in my humble opinion. Now that the darkness is fading, the wonderful, positive influence we made for our lives remains. And we’ll just keep creating more beauty and extracting more joy from it.

Call it glass half full, optimism, positivity, a silver lining, faith—whatever you want. We call it the best way to live life to the fullest.

8 Habits You Need to Focus On to Take You from Effectiveness to Greatness

Here at Dish-y we think being your best self is important. We’re constantly striving to better ourselves. In doing so we’ve noticed some habits that we as a people are slowing losing and why they’re important in our daily lives. Listed are 8 habits you need to focus on to take you from effectiveness to greatness.

1. Greeting People with Pleasantries-Do you walk right past your co-workers without saying “Good Morning”? Do you greet the Starbucks barista with a “Good Afternoon”? People like to feel like you notice them. When you walk up to the counter to order your latte and just spit out your order it makes the barista feel like you think you’re better than them and less likely to make your drink correctly.

Greet co-workers with a good morning!

2. Arriving on Time-Let me just say…I HATE being late. It drives me crazy and yet I’m married to a perpetually late man. I have friends who couldn’t make it on time to their own funeral. However, when you’re to an appointment it comes across as disrespectful, disorganized and unreliable even if you’re not. When you’re habitually late to meet your friends it say you don’t respect their time. I mean, don’t we all have crazy lives and lots on our plate? Sure, we do but lots of people still show up on time.

3. Handwritten Thank You Cards-Thank You cards aren’t just for wedding and baby shower gifts. I think people seem to have forgotten that in recent years. Have you had someone go above and beyond for you at work? If so, thank that person with a handwritten thank you card. You can show your appreciation for the time they’ve given you by giving them some time of your own.

Send Handwritten Thank You Cards

4. Eating Dinner Together-I think maybe I should re-phrase this to say…eating dinner together without any interruptions such as television, phones or computers. In a time when we’re all available 24/7 it can be easy to get caught up in checking your emails while eating dinner. Family is the most important thing we have in this short life. Do you really want to spend your time on your email or spending time with your family?

5. Using Proper Grammar-In the digital age of texting and emails, we’ve lost our sense of the proper use of the English language. Sure, abbreviating words and phrases to “YAW” (You Are Welcome) or “BTW” (By the Way) is quick and easy in a text message, however, they have no place in a business email. When you show attention to detail by using proper grammar, it tells your employer you will show attention to all of your work.

Use Proper Grammar

6. Welcoming New Neighbors to the Neighborhood-Typically, when a new neighbor moves into the neighborhood you should, at the very least, knock on the door and introduce yourself. I was shocked when we moved last June. We received pies, bottles of wine and cards on our doorstep. Our previous neighbors never once stopped by, waved or ever brought over food! Now, I like to meet the new neighbors first and then put together a basket based on my guess of their likes.

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7. Please and Thank You-It sounds silly but you can never use please and thank you too much. You should be using please and thank you in your day-to-day conversations with your spouse or parent. Using these words shows respect for the person to whom you’re speaking.

8. Actually Speaking to Your Friends-I’m guilty of this habit. I admit. All too often, I will text a friend rather than picking up the phone and calling. It’s true there are certain times when texting is more appropriate…while you’re at work, for example. If you’re intent is to catch up with a friend then pick up the phone and call them!

Choose one of these 8 habits each day you’ll be on your way from effectivess to greatness in no time!

Why I Love Pilates

Michelle’s recent post about why she loves to cook got me to thinking about all the things I enjoy doing besides cooking. Hear me out before I write this next sentence. I enjoy working out. There I said it. I used to hate people that said that but I have really started to enjoy the mental benefits along with the physical. I lift weights three times a week and do cardio four times a week. Nothing crazy just walking on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes. I was starting to get bored with my routine and needed something to switch it up.

I noticed a new Pilates studio was opening in my neighborhood and thought I might try it out. I was very intimidated. We live in an area that has a lot of stay-at-home moms that are very fit and very intimidating to me. I mean, I start sweating just walking up and down the stairs and these women have full-on makeup at the gym, looking very put together. So, I procrastinated for a while.

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Let me give you some background info. According to About.com, Pilates is a form of exercise, developed by Joseph Pilates, which emphasizes the balanced development of the body through core strength, flexibility, and awareness in order to support efficient, graceful movement. Ha. “Graceful movement”. If you know me, you know there is no part of me that is graceful. I fall down just walking all the time. Knowing this about myself and in spite of that I decided to sign up online for a private session.

I showed up and I was greeted by a very friendly, non-intimidating woman who walked me into the room. She showed me the reformer and explained all the parts of it to me. The reformer is a piece of equipment that uses springs, pulleys, bars and straps to perform over 500 different exercises in different positions. You can lie down on the reformer, sit on it or stand in front, behind and beside of the machine. A majority of the exercises I’ve completed involve lying down on the machine.

Pilates Reformer Machine-Photo Courtesy of About.com

Pilates focuses on core strength. Your core muscles are responsible for a lot of your balance and strength. Many people like Pilates because it helps them to overcome constant back pain. In fact, I have benefitted from this added bonus of Pilates. During the exercises you focus on breath, control and form. You complete a small amount of reps for each exercise. There is less strain on your joints vs. other methods of training such as weight lifting. It’s a great workout and you burn anywhere for 400-500 calories in a one hour session.

I’m the type of person that is never able to turn off my mind. I have to be constantly engaged. If I’m watching television, I’m also on Pinterest on my phone. For me, Pilates helps me to turn off my thoughts. When you’re focusing on your breath, all the moves you’re completing, and controlling those movements you’re not focusing on all the other areas of your life. That is the best bonus for me.

The studio where I attend classes, Reforming Indy, is all about empowering women. It’s a place where women can feel comfortable and come together to discuss life’s stresses and successes. You don’t feel intimidated about other people’s abilities being better than yours. In fact, you really have a hard time telling what the other people are doing because you’re lying down, staring up at the ceiling.

Empowering Women-Photo Courtesy of acelebrationofwomen.org

If you’re looking to change up your workout routine I highly suggest checking out a Pilates class in your neighborhood. Your mind, body and psyche will thank you. Don’t be scared or intimated. Life is too short to not try new things. Happy hump day, friends!

Body Image Issues

Body Image

I wanted to touch on a topic that seems to be a huge issue for most any woman I know. Body image issues. I can remember the first time I ever questioned my body and felt inadequate. It started in middle school as I’m sure it does for most people. I was the skinny, tall awkward girl with pink glasses and no boobs. Kids would call me “flatty two backs”, make comments about how I must not even need a bra, so on and so forth. Kids can be cruel. But you know what? It doesn’t stop at middle school. I’m 33 years old and it hasn’t stopped. Adults can be just as cruel as kids. So why do we do this to ourselves and each other? How do we stop doing this to ourselves and others?

If you look at any of the images of women you see on television or magazines you’ll see an impossibly skinny woman with huge boobs, long flowing hair and perfect skin. How many actual, REAL women do you know that look that in your everyday life? I would venture to say none. I know I don’t and I have beautiful friends! So, why are we comparing ourselves to them?

The images we’re presented with on a daily basis.

Let’s take a look at the men you see in the media. Some are muscular and chiseled but I see more men on television that look like actual men. I know my husband doesn’t strive to be muscular, chiseled perfection. In fact, I doubt the images of the men he sees that look like that don’t even register to him! Maybe men don’t feel the pressure as much as women. Maybe men see more realistic role models than women. Or maybe men just don’t put that much pressure on themselves. Whatever the reason, there is a disparity between men’s body image and women’s.

Channing Tatum-The unattainable male body.

I’ve always been fairly thin. I could eat whatever I want and it never mattered. I never had to work out, either. Then I met my husband and so began the decline of my amazing metabolism. Beer, deep dish pizza, those little pretzel bits with peanut butter inside, wine, cheese (lots of cheese!), fast food on road trips, you get the picture. In short, I ended up gaining around 23 pounds all in my stomach, butt, hips and thighs. I found myself at 153 pounds. I know that isn’t a lot on a 5’7” but I didn’t like what I saw and felt uncomfortable. Shopping wasn’t fun anymore. I found myself constantly comparing myself to other women which just made things worse. I was just miserable and ended up taking it out on those around me. I finally got to the point where I realized I needed to stop making myself miserable and take action. I started working out and went on a diet. Normally, I don’t advocate for diets but this was more of a healthy choices diet. Never once did I feel like I was starving myself or not live my life.

I ended up losing the 20 pounds but during that journey I realized something. I don’t give a rip what other people think of me! I started becoming more comfortable with myself. I stopped putting on makeup every time I left the house. I stopped comparing myself to women around me. I started realizing the images I had been presented with my whole life weren’t attainable or sustainable. I had friends, family and a husband that love me not for what I weigh or look like but for whom I am as a person. To me, that is all that should matter. I know I’m never going to have a flat stomach and guess what? I’m okay with that! I’d rather live my life doing the things I enjoy with the people I enjoy than spending time obsessing over a number on a scale. Do I still work out and try to watch what I eat? Sure. However, if I feel like a piece of pizza I eat it. If I don’t feeling like doing cardio for one day, I don’t do it. It doesn’t run my life. I do. That’s my wish for anyone reading this post. Have a lovely weekend, friends.

Renee Larr Writes

Category: Lifestyle